OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
