; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize