So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
