One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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