she looked like the before picture.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
