we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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