Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize