After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
