he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
