I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
