omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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