I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
