Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
