You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
