Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
