He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she peed on how many people?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize