Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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