so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
