Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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