too bad you live with your parents still
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
