grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
