You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
