my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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