do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
