I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
