Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
