Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize