I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize