i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
