It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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