Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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