Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
