Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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