i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
