i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
