dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
