God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
