it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
