Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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