What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
BRING THE BAGELS
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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