What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
