i think my tv is drunk
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
