The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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