DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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