So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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