so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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