I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I love having hate sex.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
