i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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