Will you blow on my dice?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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