last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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