If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
