she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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