Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
