I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
