I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
