I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
