that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
organizing the empties. That sober.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
