He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
