Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
