Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
