TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
