I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sext me about skeletons
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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