Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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