You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
