Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
