She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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