Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
