So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
