yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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