So drunk its hurt
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize