I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
