Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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