Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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