so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
