I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
