If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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